Last Tuesday we had an amazing send-off staff brunch for Ron and Linda Brumley who have officially retired and will be spending half of each year in Seattle and the other half in San Diego. We all enjoyed a gourmet salmon meal followed by a time of sharing with the theme, “Puns and Roses.” The men wrote puns for Ron and the women wrote poems for Linda. We laughed and cried and sent them off in a very special way. Alex and Danielle Whitaker were also there, but left before the pictures were taken.
I’m reluctantly including what I shared about Ron:
Ron Brumley’s Punny Life
Plagiarized, Personalized and Perfected by Jay Kelly
When Ron was but a wee boy the phone rang in his modest Arkansas home and he answered. The caller asked, “Where are your parents?”
“They ain’t here!” said little Ron
“Come on, son. Where’s your grammar?”
“My Gramma ain’t here neither. She done gone to church!” said little Ron.
When Ron became a man he quickly tired of shaving and decided to go to the local barber shop who also happened to be the local baptist preacher. The barber/preacher was out on a pastoral call but his wife Grace was in the shop.
Ron said to Grace, “I want a shave.” Grace told him to climb up in the chair and she gave him a close shave.
The next morning when he got up he went to the mirror and looked and his face was as smooth as when he was shaved the day before. Following the day, same thing, a week went by, two weeks and his face stayed smooth as when he was a baby. Finally after the third week he stopped back in the barber shop and Grace happened to be there. Ron said to her: “Grace, I can’t believe I still don’t need another shave. What’s going on?” And Grace replied, “Well, you have been shaved by Grace and once shaved always shaved!”
When Ron had just become a school principal the electricity went off as a storm passed through town and Principal Ron snickered and said to his assistant that his students were de-lighted.
When Ron and Linda were packing for San Diego Ron woke up one morning and told LInda, “Honey, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee, then I’m a yurt, then I’m a teepee, then I’m a yurt. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”
Linda replied, “Ron I keep telling you that leaving Seattle makes you just two tents.”
When Ron turned 100 years old he refused to wear shoes so his feet became hard and tough. He also went for long periods of time fasting and refusing to eat meat, his fasting and his diet gave him extremely bad breath. He became very lean.
At his 100th birthday party Linda sang him a little song entitled, ‘Ron’s a super-callous fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.’